Prepared for taking the heat.

Unfinished home in Phoenix, AZ

"Andy & Jessie, the world is full of followers and you're not one of them." These are the words that haunted both of my children from the time they were old enough to sneeze. I came up with that phrase one day while driving down the road, which is where I usually experience most of my inspirational thinking. I wanted to come up with a trademark quote that my children would know was unique to dad and would help them for the rest of their lives. That phrase at the time was my way of brainwashing my children into believing they were capable of making decisions that someday may be counter to their peers. I wanted them to realize they could make individual choices because they weren't expected to be followers but rather history makers.

Little did I know what I was doing to my children and what their future would hold. I had no idea they would be thrust into leadership at earlier ages than most of their peers. I hadn't planned on them having to lead until they reached adulthood. However, the other behind-the-scene practice of mine was to pray that my children would be given the gift of wisdom beyond their years. I believe it was that prayer along with my quote that became the formula for them being thrust ahead into leadership.

Both children are what I consider adults now. Jess just turned 19 and Andrew turned 21. All the while they were growing up, it was not uncommon to hear other parents asking their children, "Are Andy or Jessie going to be at this party?" If the answer was yes the parents would reply, "then you can go." It became known, unbeknownst to me, that my children would somehow hold the line if gang mentality attempted to take over. It was other parents that were the ones noticing it. It became sorta funny to me because from my perspective my children were the same age and at the same developmental stage as their kids. The difference? I believe it was because of my prayer and my little brainwashing quote, that my kids were somehow given a jumpstart into leadership. (Lord knows it wasn't because their dad was such a great example.)

You may be thinking that I was putting too much pressure on my children at the time. Maybe that I should have done more thinking for them. Actually, I did very little micro-managing and did a lot more teaching of the principles that life operates on. I wasn't a huge "rule maker" as much as I was into teaching them how to discover for themselves the right rules to live by. That's what makes the difference between a kid that leaves home and goes nuts versus a kid that leaves home and continues to live responsibly.

An example of how I trained them was to often tell them they only had one rule to live by and if they did so, they could do whatever they wanted to after that. What rule you ask? "Learn to love God with all your strength, your heart, your mind, and your soul." If you do that, doing what you want will become the right thing to want and do.

Again, too much pressure for youngsters to try and figure out on their own? Are you one of those that believes we need to keep our kids from as much pressure or stress as possible? Is it your opinion that kids need us to do most everything for them or isn't it true we are to be equipping them for adulthood. After all, they're just kids. Well, let me give you a word picture that came to me during my most recent visit to Phoenix which I just returned from. (I've been there twice in the last four weeks now)

I'm riding through the newly developed neighborhood that my baby sis lives in. As I'm coming around the corner I see a house framed with very little sheathing or siding. It's mostly bare studs. What was peculiar to me was that the roof deck was already on and roof tiles were evenly stacked all over it. I took a pic and included it at the beginning of this article. In Minnesota, the roof is the last thing we do and the shingles aren't put up there until the roofers are ready to shingle.

Why did they have those tiles piled on the roof already? My brother-in-law, who at one time was a homebuilder himself, tells me they do that to pre-stress the framing before putting on the interior sheetrock. In Phoenix, the summers can reach some ungodly high temps and tile is much more durable in that kind of environment. However, they put the tiles on the roof early to pre-stress the framing due to the weight that clay tiles deliver. When it comes time to sheetrock or spray stucco, the home won't develop cracks due to the weight load that this kind of roofing has.

Life can be a lot like that house in Phoenix. You and I both know that the future can throw some real zingers at you. It can sometimes seem unbearably hot as we're facing yet another trial or tribulation. What you and I didn't know was, just how much we were prepared for it or are maybe at present being prepared for it.

I don't believe we were planning for the heat. What I mean is, we suddenly got there, had to dig in for the ride, and we survived. How was that possible? I believe it was possible because somewhere along the line, we had already gone through some pre-stressing circumstances. We knew how to pray. We knew who to go to for help. And, our friends, family, and neighbors came to the construction site to help. Some of what seemed unjust in our past suddenly became extraordinarily clear.

Friend, God never wakes up with a surprised look on his face. He doesn't like seeing your life turn out different than you dreamed it would be anymore than you do. Not even God has the luxury of every plan he makes turning out successful. Just look at what happened in the Garden of Eden. However, He sees to it we're not alone and we've been prepared. He may not be able to deliver us from what living in a fallen world throws at us, but He can deliver us from allowing it to conquer us. Jesus created you with your future in mind. He didn't forget to pre-stress you and he didn't forget to prepare you for taking some heat. Life offers many desert experiences. We may not enjoy the journey but we will survive those wilderness experiences because unbeknownst to us, we're already prepared.

My children were being given just enough responsibility for their own decisions so that when they got older, they'd be ready for some really tough ones they'd have to face on their own.

Andy just called this week with a desert experience. As the RA of 52 students at Palm Beach Atlantic University in West Palm Beach, FL, he recently had to call four boys in for drug testing and three of them failed. They were suspended from the college with only two weeks left in the semester. Andy said, "Dad, I didn't want to do it but I knew as a leader it was my responsibility. In the long run, if they learn from this they'll someday thank me." He's right and I'm proud of him, but what a difficult decision.

Three days ago five other students were on their way back from Miami after attending a concert and were in a car accident. Two were killed and three critically injured. He just found out that alcohol was involved and the driver, at the young age of 20, will more than likely face charges on two counts of manslaughter. (One of those killed was best friends with one of the other boys Andy had tested for drugs and alcohol) To further increase the heat, Andy later volunteered to give a devotional the other night at the spring banquet for all those who live on his floor. He knew it was going to be a somber evening, not the usual celebrating that spring banquets are about.

Here were the words he read as he concluded his talk. 1 Corinthians 15:50-58 "We are all perishable and must clothe ourselves with the unperishable. We must put on immortality because we are only mortals. When we do this, death will be swallowed up in victory. Death where is thy victory? Death, where is thy sting? Thanks be to God who gives us victory. Therefore my dear brothers, stand firm. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

Those are not only the words of the apostle Paul but they are coming from my son. His heart weighed heavy because students around him had made some bad decisions and now a heavy price was being paid. He knew many of his fellow students were ready for some admonishment. He knew what his fellow students needed more than anything else that evening was some encouragement from a leader.

I'm praying for you Andy. Press on! "The World's Full Of Followers, and You're Not One Of Them!"

dad